


in the name of science

by 101crumbs



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Pining, and sehun is tired, kyungsoo is whipped, some other exo members mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:42:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26470567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/101crumbs/pseuds/101crumbs
Summary: Jongdae always gets what he wants. Even if what he wants is kissing practice.
Relationships: Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Kim Jongdae | Chen, Kim Minseok | Xiumin/Oh Sehun
Comments: 18
Kudos: 105
Collections: Shall we Chen? Fictional Fest First Round





	in the name of science

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt #220: Jongdae can't believe he's already in his second year at college and he still hasn't had his first kiss. Somehow, Kyungsoo offers/he asks Kyungsoo to teach him how to kiss properly.
> 
> hehe, enjoy!

"I am handsome, right?"

Kyungsoo doesn’t even look up before replying. "I think that is definitely not an ingredient for a soufflé."

"I know. It's just... I am handsome, I know I am."

He sighs at the man in front of him. "We're definitely not studying right now. Spit it out."

"No, it's dumb, you're going to laugh."

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes as he points at the book on Jongdae’s lap. "I will laugh, but that's beyond the point. Just say it, I really need to study and you moping around is not that big of a help, if you ask me."

Jongdae sighs, putting the book apart and staring at the ceiling. Kyungsoo tries not to stare too much at him.

"The guys were messing up with me today. Again."

"What for?"

"The first kiss thingy. Sehun said that I am not kissable enough, since it’s already our second year and I’m still lips virgin."

Jongdae misses the way Kyungsoo stares at his lips, a shiver running through his body.

Jongdae is kissable, although he can't say it from experience. Unless his dreams count.

Kyungsoo looks at the window to avoid the older, trying to keep his tone as nonchalant as possible.

"You people in the music department have a lot of free time, don’t you? Or dancing department for all that matters.”

Jongdae decides to throw a pen in his direction, missing completely. On the other hand, and not being able to let it slide, Kyungsoo throws a paper ball at him.

"Sehun is stupid, and I don't think he should be worrying about your kissing experience instead of his own grades,” he sentences, as comforting as he can be about a topic that makes his own heart race.” He almost failed two courses last year. Much to think about. You all are like teenagers."

Jongdae smiles a little, unconsciously erasing the pout he had until seconds ago.

“I’ll tell him you said that,” he says as he opens the book again. His lips are now curved on a smile, that one that makes him look like a cat. A Chesire cat.

Kyungsoo wishes he wouldn’t realize it. He also wishes his heart would behave.

* * *

Kyungsoo doesn’t remember the exact moment when he started to feel that way about the older.

What he remembers, though, is having him stuck to his side since he can recall, Jongdae deciding that Kyungsoo would be his best friend before Kyungsoo himself knew what that meant.

And Jongdae has always been someone that gets what he wants. Kyungsoo was quiet as a child, even more since he was new to the city, and Jongdae took it upon himself to show him around, to make him feel comfortable. To play with him every day. Kyungsoo was hesitant at first, but Jongdae was just as he is today— nice to be around with, kind, comforting. All the things Kyungsoo liked as a child.

Best friends since childhood, to the point where they would hold sleepovers on the other’s house without even a warning. Middle school together, high school with the same group of friends, then roommates since they chose the same college.

When did Kyungsoo fell in love? It wasn’t when he saw how many times Jongdae would fall off his bike at ten, or how much he cried at 12 for the most stupid reasons.

Kyungsoo is not sure at all. All he knows is that somehow, when he least expected it, his heart started beating faster while looking at Jongdae. While listening to him sing in the random karaoke nights. While watching him laugh.

He knows Jongdae to the bone, to the point where he remembers how he likes his coffee by heart. To the point where he knows how the older feel just by looking at him. He knows everything that there is to know about him. And it’s because of that that he knows his love is hopeless. It’s hopeless for him to expect something more, it’s hopeless for him to think that someday Jongdae will magically wake up and realize it’s been Kyungsoo all along. His feelings, his love, his desire for the older. It’s all hopeless.

He can’t really say that it sucks, though. Being Jongdae’s best friend also means he gets best friend privileges, such as seeing him first time in the morning, seeing him smile more than anyone else has ever had, even his parents; listening to him sing when he’s in the shower, and so on. They hang out, they help each other study. They complement each other. They are soulmates.

It’s easy.

Except when it’s not. Except when he has to hear Jongdae moping around about someone he has a crush on, Kyungsoo over and over proving himself as his best best friend by plotting ideas to get Jongdae the man he wants. Except when Jongdae has whipping cream on his lips, Kyungsoo feeling his own fingers warm up with how much he wishes he could just clean that with his thumb, or more, with his own lips. Except when Jongdae smiles at someone the way Kyungsoo wishes he would smile to him, his eyes lighting up and his lips doing that cute thing that makes him look like a cat.

It’s easy until it’s not. But Kyungsoo always chooses to ignore that type of feelings, well too aware that ignoring it is better than the alternative— confessing and not having Jongdae on his life anymore. He can do sadness, he can not do not having Jongdae by his side.

* * *

“To be honest, when I met you I didn’t think you had the acting thingy in you,” Sehun tells him one day as he sips his drink, Kyungsoo rolling his eyes at him immediately.

They are at the college cafeteria, enjoying what may be their little to nonexistent time off until finals season. This time, Kyungsoo has to learn his way through a lot of cooking stuff to play the role he got assigned for one of his classes— Jooheon, a baker.

Sehun, on the other hand, as part of the dancing department, is supposed to create one choreography from scratch, with just one word, _despair_. Kyungsoo doesn’t know how is he even going to do that, but Sehun doesn’t seem that concerned about it.

Although that may just be the way Sehun goes around things— unamused, unconcerned, uninterested. Kyungsoo wishes he could be a little bit like him, sometimes.

As he holds the book on his hand, Sehun opens his mouth again. _Say sike._

“I thought you didn’t have it in you because, well, the poker face you have all day long.” Kyungsoo wonders if the place is not suitable for him to just throw his juice box at him. “But I have to admit— you proved me wrong.”

Hating that his curiosity is peaking at Sehun’s words, he looks up from his book. “How come?”

“You must have enough actor material on you to be able to fool Jongdae into thinking you’re not ridiculously in love with him.”

Kyungsoo hides his inner reflex to groan at him. His love for the older was supposed to be kept a secret until he was rotting up in his grave, but as much as he’s an idiot, Sehun is also one of the most observant people Kyungsoo has known. Almost as much as him, which is why he didn’t take long to figure out Kyungsoo’s feelings, cornering him up until Kyungsoo finally gave up and told him everything there was to know.

There are some days where he’s grateful he did that. On one hand, it was getting exhausting to just shut up and pretend he didn’t feel anything, and having Sehun as someone he could talk to was a blessing.

Except on days like those, on which Sehun annoys the hell out of him with his stupid jokes that are supposed to get him to confess.

“Maybe you should kiss him,” Sehun says out of nowhere, missing the way Kyungsoo almost chokes on his drink. “He talks about it all day, it’s annoying. He can have his first kiss with you, and hopefully that’ll make him have feelings for you.”

Kyungsoo shifts awkwardly on his seat. Maybe he should throw a rock at Sehun instead. That would be a much better plan.

“You could say you’re gonna teach him or something.”

_Shut up. Shut up._ _Shut up._ “I won’t.”

“Why? I’ll say is my idea, which is true, and that way he’ll stop moping around about how he hadn’t had his first kiss yet. And you’ll stop torturing yourself about how he will have his first kiss with anyone else but you.”

Sehun definitely has a point, but Kyungsoo still shakes his head, signaling him to stop. As much as he would love to kiss Jongdae, he most certainly doesn’t want that kiss to happen just because Jongdae couldn’t find a person he actually likes to do it with.

Kyungsoo may be hopelessly in love, but he still has some pride.

“You should kiss him.”

“Cut it off before I do something you will regret.”

Sehun bursts out laughing just as Jongdae shows up, Kyungsoo afraid the older heard something. But he looks just as clueless as he usually is, so he stabilizes his breathing in peace. Sehun still has that stupid smirk on his face, but he is kind enough to switch the topic to the upcoming finals. Jongdae goes on full complaining mode, this time whining about a last-minute assignment for the most strict professor he has.

As Sehun grins at him again, Kyungsoo wants to smack himself on the table. Kissing Jongdae is definitely not an option. As much as he wants to.

* * *

Kyungsoo knows, more than any other person on the planet, how noisy Jongdae can get. He screams and sings even when he’s supposed to be quiet, and that is something Kyungsoo has gotten used to. He can even tune down Jongdae’s volume on his head every time they study together. It’s easy.

Maybe that is why he doesn’t realize Jongdae wants to say something until he clears his throat. Three times.

It’s Thursday, just two days before Kyungsoo’s final, and he doesn’t really appreciate being interrupted while he studies like that. He has to memorize all his lines and get into character before the test or he’ll make a fool of himself in front of his favorite professor, Mrs. Park. Jongdae can wait.

Except that, apparently, he can’t, since he calls out for Kyungsoo again. “So, I have been thinking…”

“You should not, it’s always worst when you do.”

“Shut up, Kyungsoo, just listen.”

Kyungsoo sighs before closing his textbook for the nth time that week. His friends really don’t want him to ace his roleplay. Still, he looks at Jongdae, giving him his full attention.

He looks nervous for some reason. Kyungsoo tilts his head, raising one brown but keeping quiet. Interesting.

“I have been thinking” Jongdae restarts. “and I think it would be a good idea if it’s you who I have my first kiss with.”

_Damn it, Sehun._

“What did Sehun do this time?” he asks, hoping his voice is as steady as he wants it to be. _I’m gonna kill him._

“Sehun?” Jongdae looks honestly surprised. “No, Sehun didn’t say anything. Minseok gave me the idea, and I think it’s a good one. You can teach me!”

Oh, looks like Sehun is not the only stupid one on their friends group.

“As I said,” Kyungsoo says, trying to joke his way out of that mess. “it’s always worst when you think.”

“I can get experience through this! So, when I finally find the man of my life, I won’t suck at kissing him!”

_Right_. Because Kyungsoo will never be that person.

“I—” he clears his throat, mouth suddenly dry. “I don’t think that will work.”

“So you really think I’m not attractive, right?” Kyungsoo wants to hit the older, tell him that no, he would never think he’s anything but attractive, will never think he’s nothing but the sun. But, of course, he won’t say that, because he’s not sappy. He is Kyungsoo, and he is sassy, and he likes messing with him.

“Exactly.”

Jongdae crawls into the bed beside him, pouting as the spoiled kitten Kyungsoo knows he is.

“It’s not fair,” he pleads. “You already got Junmyeon as your amazing boyfriend to kiss with before we moved here. And I never got my chance with Yifan.”

Ah, yes. Junmyeon, the person Kyungsoo dated for almost a year. Kyungsoo really liked him. Hell, he even loved him, but that was before Junmyeon himself realized how hopelessly in love Kyungsoo was. Just not with Junmyeon.

They ended their relationship in good terms, although that was probably the only possible outcome when dealing with Junmyeon. He’s probably one of the best people Kyungsoo has ever met, and he really wishes he’ll find the love that he deserves.

Yifan, on the other hand, was a different story. Jongdae had a crush on him during the entirety of high school, feelings that were crushed when Yifan happily announced in front of the whole class that he had a boyfriend waiting for him in China— Yixing if he remembered clearly. Jongdae had cried his eyes out that night, Kyungsoo softly patting his back and feeding him ice cream.

“Just think about it” Jongdae’s voice brings him back to reality, and even when Kyungsoo wants to shake his head and just forget about the whole thing, one look at Jongdae’s pleading eyes is all it takes for his will to vanish, leaving him with a rapidly beating heart instead.

“It won’t be gross, I promise,” he says once he sees that Kyungsoo is not making any attempt to drop the subject, looking for a way in. “and, if it’s gross, we’ll stop. I just want them to stop making fun of me, I hate that even a child like Sehun is more experienced than I am. Besides, everyone has a friend with benefits nowadays! And I would very much appreciate it if I’m not a total disaster when I kiss my boyfriend. Whenever I get one.”

The thought stings, a silent reminder of how Jongdae will never look at him that way. Kyungsoo hates the power Jongdae has over him, and sometimes he wonders if Jongdae is aware of that, too. If he uses it to his advantage.

Jongdae looks at him from below, pleading without having to say a word.

“I— ‘ll think about it.” He sighs as Jongdae fist pumps the air. “But don’t get too excited.”

“You’ll see. It’ll be good for both of us.”

Kyungsoo strongly disagrees.

* * *

The next day, he goes to vent to the only person he can— Oh Sehun. Sehun may be an idiot but has always been there for Kyungsoo when an emergency happens. Emergencies that, of course, are always related to a certain person in the music department.

“I want to take credit and say I gave Minseok hyung the idea to tell Jongdae hyung, but I didn’t. I’m actually impressed he thought about it himself.”

Kyungsoo groans. “He really asked me that with his whole damn chest. _It’ll be good for both of us_. It won’t! He’s an idiot, I’ll tell him to screw himself and cut the crap off.”

“That would be a good way to stop him,” Sehun nods. “But we both know you won’t. He’ll look at you with those sad eyes he makes sometimes and you’ll yell internally before kissing him yourself.”

Kyungsoo wants to drown himself on the sea. “I hate you.”

“You don’t. And, for whatever it’s worth, I think you should do it.”

“Of course you do.”

“Just think about it,” Sehun comes closer at that, grabbing him by his shoulders. “Yes, you are in love with him and you’re a coward who won’t confess” he stops Kyungsoo before he can reply “but, if you take it, at least you’ll be the one teaching him how to kiss. I think it’s better to have something than to have nothing. And do you really want Jongdae to kiss someone else as practice? You want to jump on them while they’re making out on your couch, the same place where you held a thousand random karaoke nights and marathons in?”

Surprisingly, Kyungsoo doesn’t answer immediately, thinking instead about the terrific fact that what Sehun just said made a lot of sense. He feels a shiver run through his body at the thought of him finding Jongdae making out with someone, anyone, on the place where they use to cuddle while watching tv.

He doesn’t want that.

“See, you can’t deny it. You should go for it, what’s the worst thing that could happen?”

Kyungsoo has a lot of options. “Him not liking the kiss and it ruining our twenty-years friendship?”

Sehun looks at him like he grew another head. “Sure, because Jongdae is not glued to you like a parasite every day. You know it won’t happen. What’s stopping you?”

Kyungsoo hates that Sehun is right.

“And remember what I told you. I do think he can grow feelings for you that way. It’s not like you’re a bad kisser or something, he’ll like it, I know that.”

He groans in response, hiding his face on his hands. “That kiss happened years ago, just let it go.”

“Yet that gave me the knowledge to say you’re a good kisser. First-hand experience. You’ll do just fine.”

Sometimes Kyungsoo wonders if it was a good decision to spit his feelings out to the dumbest person he knows. When he doesn’t do that, he’s grateful as hell to have Sehun by his side.

This time, he’s half and half.

* * *

That day, Kyungsoo purposely takes his time going back home. He stays up late at the library, studying things he doesn’t even need to study, all to avoid the talk he knows is coming.

He’s not really sure about what exactly he’s afraid of, but he’s pretty sure it has to do with the fact that he’s gotten used to the way his relationship, his friendly relationship, with Jongdae works. He likes it.

And he’s not sure if he is willing to risk all of that just for one taste of Jongdae’s lips.

Besides, there’s one other thing. He’s not sure he’s heart will take it. His heart, that has always been wanting to know what the older taste like.

What if he gets too hung up on the kiss, while it’s only a one-time thing for Jongdae? What if he’s the one that can’t go back to what they were before? There’s a lot to think about, a lot that could go wrong, even if Kyungsoo wouldn’t be the type of person that thinks too much about everything. Which, unfortunately, he is.

As the librarian tells him he has to go, Kyungsoo sighs for the nth time, picking up his stuff and getting ready to face his faith.

Sehun is right about one thing. He can never say no to Jongdae, and he knows this won’t be the exception.

“So?” Is the first thing Kyungoo hears when he arrives home, the older one getting straight to the point. Jongdae is staring at him from the couch, a smile on his lips. It’s an excited one, like the way he smiles before opening his Christmas gifts. Kyungsoo wonders if the kissing training is like candy to Jongdae.

Kyungsoo just stares blankly at him, forgetting all the encouraging words Sehun gave him just hours ago.

Taking his lack of response as an answer, Jongdae visibly deflates in front of him, although he’s kind enough to try to hide it. “If you—”

“It’s fine.”

“What?”

“It’s fine, I’ll do it. Well, we’ll do it, I guess? Whatever, I’ll do it.”

He hates the way his heart jumps when Jongdae gives the prettiest smile as a return, teeth full-on display.

“I promise I’ll make it up to you! Just tell me what you want and I’ll get it, even if I have to go to jail for it.”

“And if what I want is for you to actually go to jail?”

“Meanie,” Jongdae pouts. Kyungsoo finally laughs, feeling somehow relieved that he made a choice. He knows it will probably haunt him someday, but he hopes his acting skills are as good as Mrs. Park says they are.

If he has to lie his way out of the heartbreak Jongdae will probably give him, then so be it.

“Ok, come here. There’s some planning we have to do.”

“Planning?”

“Of course!” Jongdae pats the seat next to him. “We have to settle on a date to do it, and some other things. We can’t just jump on each other like teenagers, you know? It’s not like we’re an actual couple or something.”

Kyungsoo finally joins the older on the couch, praying to all different gods there are that Jongdae would just shut up and let him live his damn fantasy.

Which, of course, doesn’t happen.

* * *

**sebooty** **  
** how did it go? are we crying?

**satan**  
like one wise man once said, i am not throwing away my shot

**sebooty** **  
** you do remember hamilton was killed right

**satan** **  
** i hate you so much

**sebooty** **  
** no, you don’t. now go and kiss your charming prince, hyung <3

**satan** **  
** SHUT UP

**sebooty** **  
** 😈

* * *

Kissing Jongdae is, surprisingly, less nerve-wracking than he thought it would be.

They stop the planning halfway, deciding to just do it one day after breakfast.

They are in the older’s bedroom, watching _Miracle in cell N. 7_ as if they hadn’t done exactly that once a year for the past ten years. At least they don’t cry anymore.

“You finished your finals already, right, Soo?” Jongdae suddenly asks. Kyungsoo nods, raising one brow at him when Jongdae turns off the tv.

“We were close to the balloon scene! You know that’s my favorite!”

“Shut up, you owe me something.”

Kyungsoo stares at him for a couple seconds, trying to make out what the older means but missing completely.

Soon enough, Jongdae seems to get tired of waiting. “My kiss, dumbass! You said we could do it when you’d be over with your finals!”

_Oh. Right._

“Don’t you dare to say you forgot,” he continues, pursing his lips in a thin line. “I’ll literally revoke your best friend title if you did.”

“I didn’t forget,” Kyungsoo defends himself, feeling his throat dry. “I just didn’t remember. It’s different.”

“It’s not!”

“You want me to teach you or not?”

Jongdae hisses, but he doesn’t say anything else. Which reminds Kyungsoo that it is now him who is supposed to do something.

Kyungsoo appreciates that they’re both sitting down on the bed instead of laying down flat. That would definitely make things more awkward than they already are.

Swallowing hard, he turns around to face the older, trying not to show how his nervousness grows every second. Being face to face with the elder is usually not a problem, but everything seems to be more difficult that day for him. It doesn’t help that Jongdae is looking at him like he would actually be his teacher.

“Close your eyes,” he requests, softly, his tone gentle and a comforting smile on his lips. Jongdae, on the other hand, looks a little nervous, but he does as he was told without hesitating.

“What do I do?” Jongdae whispers, eyes still closed, blush starting to tint his cheeks.

“I like to think that kissing is like breathing. You’ll know what to do. Just don’t use your tongue now, you’d probably drool all over my mouth and I don’t want that.”

“Dumbass.”

“Shut up before I drool all over your face.”

Jongdae laughs louder than before, but he still keeps his eyes closed.

Kyungsoo doesn’t waste his chance, silently analyzing every part of his face. From his eyes that, when they’re open, spark so much Kyungsoo has a hard time believing his roommate is actually human, to his button nose, that makes him want to poke him there just to know how it feels like. His ears, that are probably tinier than they should be, although he doesn’t see a problem with it. It’s cute.

And then, his mouth. His kitten-like lips, the corners pointing up in that signature smile the older wears basically all the time.

Jongdae is so beautiful that sometimes Kyungsoo has a hard time believing someone like him is real.

“I’ll do it now,” he finally declares.

“Was about time.”

Kyungsoo wants to hit him so bad, but he knows he can probably save it for later. Instead, he cups the older’s face with his hands, thanking whatever god there is out there that he’s not shaking as he does so.

Without further ado he closes his eyes himself, moving just until he’s pressing Jongdae’s lips with his. It’s awkward at first, both of them staying completely still. A few seconds go by before Kyungsoo tilts his head a little as Jongdae hugs him, starting to move his lips just the tiniest bit.

Throwing caution in the wind, Kyungsoo does the same, battling a smile when Jongdae seems to get more enthusiastic about his actions.

Kyungsoo feels ecstatic, his heart beating insanely fast on his chest.

As first kisses are, Kyungsoo wouldn’t say it was perfect. He’d say it was not, but that’s exactly what makes it special. He’s really enjoying it, and he hopes it’s the same for Jongdae.

“How was it?” he finally asks once they part ways to gasp for air. Jongdae’s lips look a little redder now, and the view makes Kyungsoo feel proud. _He_ did that.

Jongdae glances at him for a solid ten seconds, his expression indecipherable, and for a millisecond Kyungsoo is scared he did something wrong.

That is until Jongdae bursts out laughing. “It was good! And I’m not a lips virgin anymore, get that, Sehun!”

Kyungsoo hits his arm playfully, but he still feels relieved that Jongdae is making jokes. Maybe he was right, maybe this doesn’t need to be awkward.

“How did I do it?” Jongdae will ask him later on, once is lunchtime and they finally stand up from bed to cook. They’re on a budget, and they both made a pact not to buy take-out until they get a Nintendo Switch to play Animal Crossing on.

“You still need to practice, but it wasn’t _that_ bad,” is what he says.

_It was perfect, you’re perfect. Kiss me again, please_ , is what he actually wants to say.

Jongdae seems satisfied with the answer, going back to making the omelet. “Ok, we’ll practice more.”

Kyungsoo wonders he made an excellent choice or a really stupid one.

* * *

The second kiss takes a while to happen. Two weeks after the first one, Jongdae just throws the “Can I kiss you?” out of nowhere, as if it wouldn’t set Kyungsoo to panic. He still nods, since he made the agreement himself, and that’s all it takes for Jongdae to come forward, smiling softly at him before pressing his lips against Kyungsoo’s.

That kiss is less clumsy, less rushed. Kyungsoo takes his time, tilting his head a few times just to show Jongdae how to keep the pace of a kiss. It’s sweet how Jongdae’s lips move against his own, inexperienced yet insistent. Kyungsoo likes it, he likes it a lot.

Judging from the way Jongdae stares at him once the part ways, he knows the older one likes it a lot, too.

“I want to try using my tongue,” the older man announces one day. Kyungsoo starts coughing, wondering if he heard him wrong.

“You what?”

“Tongue! I meant what I told you in the beginning, I want to learn it all. Tongue included.”

Kyungsoo is sure, by now, that he has dug his own grave.

It’s not like things have changed. They haven’t, and maybe that’s what hurts him. Somehow, there was a part of him that was expecting Sehun to be right, that was expecting Jongdae to fall in love with him and his amazing kissing abilities. Well, it seems he’s not that good of a kisser.

Or maybe, even if he is, it’s still not enough for Jongdae.

“Should I take the silence as you considering it?” Kyungsoo is pulled out of his thoughts. What’s even the point of trying to fight it? He knows he’ll comply.

“Just come here, you idiot.”

The laugh he gets in response is always worth it.

By now, the couch is their preferred spot for practicing. Jongdae said the bed looks too intimate, and the kitchen was just not safe, especially for Jongdae and his clumsiness. The couch, on the other hand, is perfect— comfortable, but not too much. 

Once Jongdae sits in the spot next to him, it’s almost natural for Kyungsoo to move forward and capture his lips with his own. Only that, this time, he lets his tongue slip out of his mouth, tracing Jongdae’s lips before pushing against them. Jongdae seems to get the hint, and soon enough Kyungsoo is inside of the elder’s mouth.

Everything feels warmer than he thought it would be.

But this is a practice, which means that Kyungsoo has to teach him stuff, so he starts circling around with his tongue, at the same time running his hands up and down his arms. He likes it; he always knew Jongdae had some muscles, but it’s better to be able to touch freely.

“Can I try?” Jongdae asks when they pull apart, Kyungsoo nodding without being sure what he's nodding to. Kissing Jongdae like that takes away all his proper thinking capacity.

Only when Jongdae pulls him in is that Kyungsoo realizes what he’s gotten himself into, but it’s too late to take it back. Somehow, it feels quite different to be the one that is welcoming the older’s tongue in his own mouth. Now he’s the one with a warm sensation running through all his body, even more than when it was the other way around. Jongdae is enthusiastic, sloppy when he moves his tongue, but it still causes Kyungsoo to feel a shiver through his spine. 

Kissing Jongdae, or being kissed by Jongdae, the older hugging him as tight as he can, brings butterflies to his stomach, a stampede even. It’s in those moments that Kyungsoo forgets about all the little panics he gets. This is the reason he accepted, and he has never been more sure about any other decision in his entire life.

Usually, Kyungsoo acts according to his normal judgment. Usually, when Jongdae doesn’t have his tongue inside of his mouth. But this is not a usual moment, so he’s not even ashamed when his brain tells his mouth to suck on Jongdae’s tongue, filling something flipping on his stomach when the older hums in surprise, tightening his hold on him.

So he does it again, only to be rewarded with Jongdae digging his nails into his clothes, tensing in a way that no one but Kyungsoo would be able to notice.

It doesn’t come as a surprise that Jongdae pulls away immediately, but it is pleasing to see him red as a tomato. “I—”

“You’re gonna be late for class,” Kyungsoo says instead, an amusing smile on his face as Jongdae walks out of the door with the blush still reaching his ears.

Kyungsoo smiles to himself for the rest of the day. It’s nice to be able to make Jongdae blush, even if it’s only because of a tongue kiss.

* * *

**sebooty**  
how is it going?

**satan**  
i kissed him with tongue and he ran away 

**sebooty**  
like in a bad way?

**satan**  
in a blushing way ;)

**sebooty**  
nice  
WAIT IS IT THE FIRST TIME YOU GUYS USE YOUR TONGUES

**satan**  
… yes?

**sebooty**  
i call you a great kisser and you kiss him like a five years old toddler. you embarrass me

**satan**  
lol i breathed

**sebooty**  
PLEASE keep french kissing him if you want him to fall for you

**satan**  
is my tongue that good?

**sebooty**  
that’s it i’m done with you

* * *

Dinner is awkward that day. Jongdae is eating in silence, and anyone that knows Jongdae the way Kyungsoo knows him would know that it’s not good when he’s quiet like that.

As Jongdae makes no comment on what happened earlier, Kyungsoo goes over the kiss on his head, realizing that not asking for permission to do something, even when they were kissing already, is bad.

And if Jongdae is that uncomfortable, then it means it’s way worse than bad.

“Jongdae.”

Said man finally looks up from his plate, a tiny frown proving Kyungsoo that he did, indeed, cross the line.

“Mh?”

Kyungsoo thinks about the best to express how sorry he is. “I’m sorry I did _that_ without asking for your permission first, I sh—”

“That’s not it.”

“What?”

“That’s not why I am like this.”

_Oh._ “Mh, then, good to know? I still think I shouldn’t have done it without asking.”

“Agree, but it’s not because of that.”

“Then what?”

Jongdae doesn’t answer right away. Instead, he cleans up the table, jumping on the couch as soon as he’s over. He signals for Kyungsoo to join him, and only keeps going once the tv is on.

“Ilikedit.”

“What?”

“I…” again, seeing Jongdae trail off like that is something that will always surprise Kyungsoo. “I liked it. I want to do more things like that. You know, in the name of science.”

Kyungsoo blinks once. Then twice. Then three times, a reflex he does when he’s not entirely sure about what the hell is going on.

And, of course, Jongdae notices. One of the enormous disadvantages of facing someone that knows you more than you know yourself. “Is it too much?”

“You want me to teach you—” Jongdae nods. “—to make out” Jongdae nods again. “And to get to second base?”

“Second base?”

“That’s— that’s how you call the… other stuff.”

“Then yes, I want to get to second base.”

Kyungsoo screams internally. Either he did something incredibly good in his previous life and now he’s collecting his good deeds, or something incredibly bad and now he’s paying for it.

Jongdae doesn’t say anything else, knowing more than anyone else that now all he has to do is wait for Kyungsoo to weigh the pros and cons. Oh, if only Jongdae would also know what exactly those pros and cons are about.

Kyungsoo wonders what would be the difference anyway. He’s already kissing him, and if he got all the way there, why stop now?

_Because he doesn’t love you back, idiot?_

Welp, that would be one good reason. But he’s too far gone to stop now.

“Fine.”

* * *

Kyungsoo always thought his climax in life would be kissing Jongdae. He thought that, if somehow the stars would align and he would be granted that feeling— Jongdae’s lips on his, he could die right in the spot and he wouldn’t care.

Turns out his emotional climax wasn’t kissing Jongdae. It was listening to him moan.

The first time it happened, they were kissing. Kyungsoo had soon learned that Jongdae loved to have Kyungsoo exploring his mouth, but he loved it even more when Kyungsoo sucked on his tongue. And Kyungsoo loved to use that to his advantage.

It was a small sound, almost unnoticeable, but it brought a burning sensation to Kyungsoo’s skin. He needed to hear more of that.

So, when they parted apart, he didn’t stop. Instead, he moved down to Jongdae’s chin, biting the area in the most delicate way he could. Jongdae tensed under him— now it was common for them to do that, to kiss until one of them would end up being under the other one. The way he tensed up, moving his legs on a reflex, told Kyungsoo that maybe it wasn’t a bad idea.

Jongdae was still staring at him when Kyungsoo moved even further down, this time with another target on his mind.

He had always wanted to know how it would feel like to bite on his Addam’s apple, always so inviting, always moving up and down. It was time to figure that out.

Oh, and it was so worth it. Once he bit the area, Jongdae tensed up even more, letting out the sweetest moan Kyungsoo had ever heard.

“Someone’s pretty vocal.”

Jongdae didn’t answer.

“Is this o—”

“Again.”

“Mh?”

“Do. It. Again.”

That day, Kyungsoo left a mark on Jongdae’s neck. It was tiny, almost unnoticeable, yet it made him feel incredibly proud.

Maybe teaching Jongdae how to get to second base is not a terrible idea after all.

* * *

It blurs the lines of their relationship.

The change wasn’t noticed by Sehun, or Minseok (who, apparently, knew about the kisses and that Kyungsoo was in love with Jongdae already. Maybe his acting wasn’t that good). Still, Kyungsoo knows it is there.

It is on the way Jongdae stares at him sometimes, his gaze powerful yet full with fondness. It is on the way he holds Kyungsoo’s hand while he pins him down, both losing themselves in pleasure. It is on the way Jongdae cuddles with him when they watch TV.

Something was changing, Kyungsoo knows it is. Yet he can’t risk himself to ask.

* * *

“Can I come in?”

It’s three am. Kyungsoo is used to staying up late at night, somehow he has learned that his brain works better at ungodly hours. That’s not the case for Jongdae, who always goes to sleep at twelve o’clock tops. He raises an eyebrow in concern, staring at how Jongdae has his lips pursed together on a thin line.

“Sure. Something happened?”

“Had a nightmare.”

“Oh. Come here,” he puts his book away, patting the empty side beside him, “I’ll cuddle you.”

It’s something they have done since high school. When one of them is scared, the other will go to him, cuddling until the fear has gone away. It hasn’t happened in a while, yet Kyungsoo knows exactly what needs to be done.

“I’ll get you some milk, just wait.”

“Don’t—” Jongdae stops him halfway, holding his hand to pull him back on the bed. “Stay, just turn off the lights.”

Kyungsoo wants to argue, but he decides against it. He does as Jongdae told him, turning off the lights and holding him against his chest. He can feel the way Jongdae relaxes instantly, and soon enough they are just holding each other tightly, Kyungsoo drawing circles on the older’s hands.

After some time, Jongdae’s breathing becomes more spaced out, more like the way he breathes when he’s asleep. It may be creepy to know that, but Kyungsoo has had years to learn every detail about him. Before he can stop himself, he leaves a kiss on the back of his head, just a light touch on his hair.

What he doesn’t expect is for Jongdae to move, to face him, and stare at him with an awkward expression on his eyes.

Kyungsoo opens his mouth, feeling anxiety bubbling up on his stomach. As he begins to think about ways to apologize, something that he wasn’t expecting at all happens.

Jongdae comes closer, kissing him softly.

They are on the bed, a place where they shouldn’t do any of this. It’s too intimate, too personal, too—

Kyungsoo turns his brain off, hovering over Jongdae and deepening the kiss.

They barely sleep that night.

* * *

“You’re telling me,” Minseok begins, “—that both of you almost got to third base and you still haven’t confessed?”

“We were not that close to third base.”

“You just said you were rubbing against his ass the entire night,” Sehun retorts.

“And he palmed your dick through the clothes.”

“On the bed.”

“Which, as we remember him saying, is only meant for couples.”

“And he is wearing a scarf, which means—”

“Shut up you too, please,” Kyungsoo groans, holding his head with his hands. “I don’t know what we did, I don’t why I did it. And I certainly don't know why he did it.”

“I can give you a few reasons.”

Kyungsoo wants to throw himself in a ditch. 

Still, he doesn’t regret it. At all.

* * *

When facing hard times, Jongdae has always been the type of person that cuts things to the chase. He doesn’t overthink, he doesn’t like to leave words unspoken. He is always upfront, doing nothing more than face it and hope for the best.

Which is why it surprises Kyungsoo when Jongdae stops hanging around their apartment as much as he used to, only replying with monosyllables when he texts him.

It surprises him and it freaks him out at the same time.

Did he do something? Is it because of the bed situation? Is it because the bed situation finally showed Jongdae the way Kyungsoo feels about him, how he _truly_ feels about him?

Looking back, Kyungsoo thinks it was not a good idea to kiss Jongdae’s torso like he was paying his respects to some kind of god out there. Well, he was, but probably Jongdae was able to see right through him and now he doesn’t want to break his heart.

Kyungsoo feels like an idiot for hoping that something would change.

* * *

They go like that for two weeks, Jongdae going out too early and coming back too late. Kyungsoo stops trying, stops calling him altogether, stops waiting for him to show up at his bedroom with some snacks to watch the latest episode of Grey’s Anatomy. He stops, as much as it hurts him to stop.

Still, he can’t shake the memories of what happened that night. He can’t stop thinking about how pretty Jongdae looked when mouthed his dick through his underwear, he can’t stop thinking about how satisfied he seemed to be when Kyungsoo arched his back in pleasure thanks to the older sucking him, even if his underwear was still in place.

He can’t stop thinking about Jongdae’s look on his eyes as he came, about the high-pitched moan he let out. He can’t stop thinking about the absolute bliss in his eyes, about the way he pulled Kyungsoo to kiss him afterward, even if both of them were disgusted about the fact that they came on their underwear.

He can’t stop thinking about all of that, and it hurts.

* * *

**spoiled kitten**  
you coming early tonight? we need to talk

Kyungsoo stares at his phone for a while, not sure if he’s ready for what's coming. Anxious, he vents with the only two people he’s allowed to.

help he wants to talk what if he knows and he hates me now

**sebooty** **  
** woooo, you got this, king

**minseok hyung** **  
** lol he’s gonna piss on his pants

**sebooty** **  
** babe, show him some support

**satan** **  
** wait, babe? what happened

**sebooty** **  
** i guess we bonded while complaining about your oblivious ass

**satan** **  
** … you’re welcome?

**sebooty** **  
** seriously, just talk to him. you guys are starting to annoy the fuck out of me

**minseok hyung** **  
** what he said

He can’t argue with that. He’s getting tired too. He misses his best friend and, if he’s going to lose him, it doesn’t matter whether it happens that day or in two weeks from that.

i’ll be there at ten

**spoiled kitten** **  
** ok, i’ll make us dinner

* * *

“Hi,” Jongdae’s voice is soft, shy, almost as if he is scared. Kyungsoo wonders what can he possibly be scared of.

“Hi.”

“I got us pizza.”

“Didn’t you say you’d make us dinner?”

“Shut up and eat.”

Kyungsoo shrugs and, if it wouldn’t be because the atmosphere is awkward, he would feel that everything is normal. But it’s not, and he knows Jongdae is aware of that too.

They eat in silence, after two attempts from Jongdae to start small talk. Kyungsoo hates small talk.

“Jongdae,” he stops him before he tries for the third time. “Cut it off. You’ve been weird, I know it, you know it. Just tell me why.”

Jongdae stares at him for about two minutes. Kyungsoo counts, measuring each second with each one of his heartbeats. He has to prepare his heart for what is coming, yet he can’t bring himself to do that.

He digs his nails on his seat in an attempt to maintain a neutral expression once Jongdae breaks his heart.

“What we did the other night…”

Kyungsoo doesn’t even realize the moment he stops breathing.

“I’m afraid it had different meanings for the two of us, and I’m so sorry.”

Kyungsoo smiles, understanding, reassuring. He wants to let him know that it is okay to break his heart, that it’s fine with him.

“I didn’t know it would turn out like this, and if I had known, I wouldn’t have asked you to do this for me.”

Jongdae shouldn’t be taking the blame for this, Kyungsoo thinks. It’s all him.

“I wasn’t aware of it when I asked you, I promise. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’d never do.”

Kyungsoo sighs under his breath, knowing that it’s his turn to intervene. To remind Jongdae that it was Kyungsoo who chose to do this, even when he was fully aware of his love for him.

Jongdae wouldn’t have to feel like an ass for something that is entirely his fault.

“You’re my best friend.”

_Ouch._

“Isn't your fault I'm in love with you.”

“I didn’t mean to fall in love with you.”

“What—”

“What—”

“You are in love with me?”

“You are in love with me?”

“Shut up,” Jongdae stops him, his eyes moving insanely fast as he thinks. If Kyungsoo wouldn’t be panicking, he’d think it’s cute. “You are in _love_ with me!? Since when?”

“Um. Always?”

“Shut up.”

“You asked!”

“But. But—”

“My turn. Since when?”

“I— I don’t know when it started. All I know is that I realized it the day after the bed thing. When I woke up and you were holding me in your arms. I realized I wanted to do that for the rest of my life.”

It takes a lot to make Kyungsoo blush, two years of Mrs. Park teaching him the best technique to always be in control of his emotions coming in handy to keep his poker face. Yet, he feels the redness going up on his face.

“Do you…” Jongdae sounds unsure, and it’s so surreal to hear him like that, to see him like that. “Do you really mean it?”

“I—”

“It’s okay if you don’t, you don’t have to—”

“Oh my god, shut up.” He stands up before he chickens out, holding Jongdae’s hand and hoping his eyes can show the other one the extent of his feelings. “I love you, I always have. I fell for you so long ago I can’t even remember how it happened or how it started. I was also terrified to lose you, I always have. So I kept it to myself. I know you, so I knew you didn’t love me back and it was hopeless to even try. Then you asked for the stupid kissing training and Sehun said I should try it but it seemed so stupid to propose that to you. And then…”

“And then I asked you myself.”

“And you always get what you want.”

“I do,” Jongdae smiles at him, squeezing his hand.

“When you started to act weird I just assumed you knew about my feelings.”

“I didn’t, like, at all. I panicked.”

“Well, me too.”

Jongdae laughs this time.

“I missed that,” Kyungsoo slips out, amazed that he even can. “I missed my best friend.”

The way Jongdae stares at him, his sparkly eyes letting out all the things the older is not, makes him shiver in excitement.

This is new for them both, but he knows they are both thrilled that they get the chance to figure it out.

Together.

* * *

“How come we always make out on the couch but never have sex on it? That’s disrespectful to the couch.”

Kyungsoo smiles. It’s been two months, yet it feels as if they just started. Almost everything is still the same as when they were only friends, and that may just be one of the endless perks of dating your best friend.

Still, Kyungsoo sees the way they change their behavior towards the other. He sees it on the way Jongdae gets playful with him, on the mischievous look on his eyes when they sneak out to have sex in an entirely inappropriate place.

Or in the fondness of his eyes when they go to sleep. Together.

“What do you say, Soo?”

“Shall we, Jongdae?”

Jongdae is still an idiot in Kyungsoo’s opinion but, finally, he can say Jongdae is _his_ idiot.

**Author's Note:**

> this prompt was so fun to write ;-; i hope you liked it, prompter and everyone that reads this!
> 
> please leave comments/kudos if you want!


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